k.digennaro Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I noticed the favorite philosophy thread and it spiked some of my favorite sayings, although these two are similar sayings and philosophies are very different. Make them serious, make them funny. Just please keep it PG. Here are my favorites: -It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.- -Before you insult someone take a mile walk in their shoes that way when you insult them your a mile away and you have their shoes- -You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - -Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. - Im gona start a stickied list of the sayings, so people dont have to scroll around. Sayings Eagles may sore, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. pain will never leave a scar like words will-a girl once said to me "no sorry id rather just stay friends it may ruin it" I sold my house, I got a pretty good price for it but it did annoy my landlord. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. -Killing is not an art but art is killing- Work, yeah, i tried that once, worst 7 minutes of my life- Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? OK, so what's the speed of dark? Why do psychics have to ask for your name? If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose? If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2? If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet? The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming? Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them? Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why is the word abbreviation so long? # If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled? And if it is mispelled, how would we know?-AML Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? How does a dictionary writer look up the spellings of new words? How does a snow plough driver get to work? Does Fish never get Thursty Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? If you are dialing from a touch-tone phone, Why do you call it 'dialing'? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? lol! Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ouch!!! Can you get cornered in a round room? Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear? If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware? Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside? Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back? Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free? If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it? Money can't buy happiness, but it can sure buy the kind of misery you like! Quote Support Our Troops, End The War Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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