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k.digennaro

-Lets hear your favorite sayings-

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I noticed the favorite philosophy thread and it spiked some of my favorite sayings, although these two are similar sayings and philosophies are very different.

Make them serious, make them funny. Just please keep it PG.

Here are my favorites:

-It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.-

-Before you insult someone take a mile walk in their shoes that way when you insult them your a mile away and you have their shoes-

-You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. -

-Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -

Im gona start a stickied list of the sayings, so people dont have to scroll around.

Sayings

Eagles may sore, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

pain will never leave a scar like words will-a girl once said to me "no sorry id rather just stay friends it may ruin it"

I sold my house, I got a pretty good price for it but it did annoy my landlord.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

-Killing is not an art but art is killing-

Work, yeah, i tried that once, worst 7 minutes of my life-

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose?

If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2?

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?

Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them?

Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

# If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled?

And if it is mispelled, how would we know?-AML

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

How does a dictionary writer look up the spellings of new words?

How does a snow plough driver get to work?

Does Fish never get Thursty

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

If you are dialing from a touch-tone phone, Why do you call it 'dialing'?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? lol!

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ouch!!!

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been

free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

Money can't buy happiness, but it can sure buy the kind of misery you like!

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Wow, I think I,m first. Well here goes.

Eagles may sore, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

I thank PooDoo for helping me remember that one.I'll be back if I think of any more.

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my sayings are mostly words :D

lol

noob

noob cake

owned

headshot

im so emo i tried to kill my self with dental floss

youre so emo

emo wannabe

pain will never leave a scar like words will-a girl once said to me "no sorry id rather just stay friends it may ruin it"

there are loads more but its a bit more than a pg more of a well 18 lol and well i aint 18 :D

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^^^^Lmao here are a couple more

-Work, yeah, i tried that once, worst 7 minutes of my life-

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose?

If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2?

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?

Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them?

Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

# If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled?

And if it is mispelled, how would we know?-AML

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

# Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

^^^these are from one of my favorite sites lol enjoy

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lol!!! this is fun lol here are a few more.

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

If you are dialing from a touch-tone phone, Why do you call it 'dialing'?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? lol!

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ouch!!!

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been

free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? lol!

Wow..I wonder who really was the first...o.O

haha i agree, thats my favorite one by far lol, you really gotta ask yourself wat they were thinking lol.

and btw: is it dumb to paste all the sayings into the main post? it makes sense to me, but at the same time i could see why you wouldnt do it. should i take that off?

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Everything in life makes perfect sense. So long as you never question why that makes sense.

Everything I say is a lie. Except for when I'm telling you everything I say is a lie. That's the truth.

Why is it that green olives come in jars and black olives come in cans?

And that's all from me for now. ;)

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Never trust a person that has multiple "X"s in their username.

Just because they have more posts doesn't mean they're better than you (weird, coming out of me)

When in doubt, use Inkscape

Some books leave us free, but others make us free (that was a real quote)

When plotting a revenge, make sure you (A) get away with it and (B) make sure the victim knows you did it (indirectly said by Edgar Allen Poe in one of his short stories)

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Some books leave us free, but others make us free.

Very nice.

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."

"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

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"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

Heh, I said something almost exactly like that earlier today.

"Our arrows will blot out the sky!" "Then we will fight in the shade." (300, where else?)

"You know what, there's something that I do with my life that's not the norm, something off the beating path- I want to be a f---ing criminal!" ~Dane Cook

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Never believe someone who claims they aren't a wordsmith. As only a wordsmith would know the definition of, much less use, the term wordsmith.

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#

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to

people that work nights?

#

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

#

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

#

How is it possible to have a civil war?

#

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

#

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

#

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

#

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

#

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

#

Why on Earth, with over 3/4 of our planet covered by water, don't we call it 'ocean'?--Ziggy

#

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

#

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

#

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

#

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?

#

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

#

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

#

Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

#

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?

#

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

#

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

#

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

#

What's another word for Thesaurus?--Steven Wright

#

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

#

Why is it that when trasporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?

#

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?*

#

If two wrongs don't make a right, then how come two negatives make a

positive?*

some more from my favorite site ^^ :P

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Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

And stutter for that matter.

Failure isn't falling, it's not getting back up.

Inspiration: If all it takes to inspire you is a pretty picture and a short phrase. You've probably got a really easy job. The kind that robots will likely to be doing soon. (I read that one somewhere awhile back. :P)

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