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Harry Potter and the Crackpot Theory (SPOILER WARNING)


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I'm a bit too excited about the release of the seventh book, so I'd like to hear what some of the craziest crackpot theories you've heard are. If you don't like the series, that's fine; I just want to know what some of the wildest stuff you've heard or read is.

As for me? "Harry's a horcrux." Then why was Voldemort trying to kill him?

That's the craziest I've heard.

 

The Doctor: There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior... A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
Amy: But how did it end up in there?
The Doctor: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.
River Song: I hate good wizards in fairy tales; they always turn out to be him.

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...Snape is Harry's real father...that's why he's so irritated that Harry likes James, and why he's always made sure Harry stayed safe (and why Dumbledore trusted him)...

cracked enough for you?

(and yes, I'm a fan of the books...my wife already preordered our 2 copies at Barnes & Noble, and will go and get them at midnight Friday)

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The movies are good. That is all I know but I missed the last one or maybe two? hmmm I know I saw 3 of them, I will get them on dvd some day and watch them all again. And I am sure the story will continue, Harry's buddy perhaps will be the next victim, and him the girl will have baby sorcerers.

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2?

why 2?

its not that great of a book

if i get it, its when they have stacks of them for $15 at costco

That's gona happen at like mid 2008, the book is about 784 pages long, the 6th book was on the shelves at Wal-mart for 20 bucks and then it was taken of the shelves

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Ok, Harry will find out that Yoda is better than ChuckNorris and then harry will team up with Voltamorte and go kill a turtle, but the turtle was actually harrys father, so harry kills Voltamorte, and then Yoda kills Chuck Norris, but ChuckNorris comes back to life and then Yoda kills Chuck Norris again. but that was actually just a dream that Harry had, and then Harry kills Voltamorte with his machine gun, and Hagred is actually Harrys Mmom and Dad, so harry gets POed and kills a turtle which is actually Harrys Mom and Dad (Hagred is also his Mom and Dad) and Harry gets confused and quits his job.

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2?

why 2?

its not that great of a book

if i get it, its when they have stacks of them for $15 at costco

...well, if you're not a fan, you can probably stand to wait for your wife/partner to finish reading it and then trust him/her to not talk about it until you have a chance to finish it.

I've been waiting for two years to find out not only what happens next, but what happened that hasn't been explained yet. I'm not a big fan of the movies (it's kind of like Lord of the Rings, they just leave *way* too much out), and I've been a reader of sci-fi, fantasy, horror, and most everything else since I was old enough to comprehend it.

Getting lost in a story is fun for me, and every once in a while, a really good storyteller comes along and introduces me to an imaginary place that captures my attention. This is the *last* Harry Potter book, and there are years between when I read one (not long after I saw the first movie...my mom had bought *my* kids the first two books, and my wife and I decided to read the second book) and got hooked and now.

At any rate, either you understand the feeling or you don't. If you waited on pins and needles for Matrix: Revolutions or Star Wars: Episode III (or Episode VI, back in the day), you have some idea of why we're buying two books. If we haven't both finished reading by Sunday night or early Monday morning, I'll be surprised.

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My sister-in-laws FLEW TO ENGLAND for the new books official release party! They might get to meet Rowling....

Now THAT is fanatic. My wife will be jealous to hear it.

The receptionist in the last corporate office I worked at would have done that if she could have (she won contests for best costume at two different book parties).

I like reading the books, but I'm not dressing up in a costume over it (I wouldn't do it for Spider Robinson, J.R.R. Tolkien, or Robert Heinlein, I'm not doing it for JK Rowling).

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I seriously thing that HArry and Voltdemort will end up both dying. I'm really hoping it's not gonna end up Harry kills Voltdemort and everything is good and then Harry gets married and has loads and loads of kids.

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um how old is harry? (i dont read the books) is he really old enough for marriage?

He turns 17 at the start of the 7th book, but I'm not sure about minimum age requirement for weddings in either the Wizarding World or London.

I seriously thing that HArry and Voltdemort will end up both dying. I'm really hoping it's not gonna end up Harry kills Voltdemort and everything is good and then Harry gets married and has loads and loads of kids.

If you've ever read or seen the order of the phoenix, the prophecy for Harry specifically states that "“Either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives.â€

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Thanks, that cleared things up(about the age).I wonder if they get drivers license to fly on flying carpets...

No, silly, carpets are for wizards from the far east. They never really caught on in the western magical world. No, they don't need licenses to fly on broomsticks, but they do need licenses to apparate (disappear here, reappear where they want to go).

yeesh.

 

The Doctor: There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior... A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
Amy: But how did it end up in there?
The Doctor: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.
River Song: I hate good wizards in fairy tales; they always turn out to be him.

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NO SPOILERS

I just wanted to say that I've finished book seven. And WOW. It's just...ASTOUNDINGLY amazing. After being on self-imposed internet ban for four days to avoid spoilers, that was one of THE most amazing book experiences of my life.

 

The Doctor: There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior... A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
Amy: But how did it end up in there?
The Doctor: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.
River Song: I hate good wizards in fairy tales; they always turn out to be him.

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I finished it at about 3AM (my wife is still about 100 pages from the end), and also made sure I stayed away from the 'net until I was finished.

I actually had trouble on Friday when some a-h*le posted page numbers and character names who supposedly died...at least I'm safe now.

I was pleasantly surprised with the ending...satisfied, I'd say. I think you're probably safe talking about the book by now, but you might want to put "spoiler warning" in all caps at the end of the thread title...I know I was specifically looking for other thoughts on the book here, and also made sure I stayed away until I had it completely read.

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