Rainshadow

Rants *enter at own risk*

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2 hours ago, Ego Eram Reputo said:

I get the feeling people are avoiding me.... 

 

all-alone.png

 

Or are you avoiding us... intentionally coming online when we're not around.

🤔🤣

 

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12 hours ago, Ego Eram Reputo said:

I get the feeling people are avoiding me....

 

all-alone.png

 

I was ...............t2219.gif

 

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On 5/11/2019 at 3:45 PM, BoltBait said:

I have 3 weeks to find another job at Intel or I'll be forced to retire.

 

...and, I'm "retired". :mad:

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Welcome to the club...

 

I'm actually in pre-retirement right now, I like to call it practicing for retirement. I should be officially retired by the end of the year depending on how things pan out.

 

You may have to lower your standards and get a job elsewhere. Good luck on your journey.

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@BoltBait and @dipstick, they're fools for letting you go!

 

@DragonsLion has spent most of the week in the hospital. He's been having blackouts and the doctors thought he'd developed absence seizures, but the only things showing up on the tests are a slight brainwave abnormality and a teeny cluster of blood vessels hanging out in his brain. So, they still have no idea. Bleargh.

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Please give @DragonsLion all my best and wishing him a speedy recovery :D 

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@LionsDragon that must be scary for you both.  Fingers crossed for DragonsLion this side of the pond

 

(FWIW an MRi picked up some white spots on my daughters brain and after a few nervous months the neuro' is of the conclusion that it's scarring from past migraine attacks

Got to trust 'em)

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A conversation with my daughter

Me:  How many bus lanes did you go into in Cardiff last week ... ?

Her:  None. I know the law

Me:  You obviously don't.  Try 3 times.  £210 worth

Her:  No I didn't.

Me :  I've been sent 3 great pictures of your car by the Council

Her:  Ohh.  Sorry.   Can I pay you back £5 a month ? I'm still your little girl

 

Aye.  Just more expensive to keep even though she's left home

 

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@LionsDragon ...it's OK to feel a glut of emotions/ thoughts even if they're bad; just the same as feeling grief ... and on the flip side it's OK not to feel anything at all. 

I was vilified by my siblings for  feeling nothing at all when my father died.  Just a shrug of the shoulder.  Remember you're entitled to feel and think whatever you want.  Be it grief and sadness or total detachment.  Nobody can judge.  Feel what's right for you 

 

Speaking personally I've found the hardest thing is there's no answers for past behaviour.  

 

<hug>

 

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16 hours ago, LionsDragon said:

*Ponders* What am I supposed to feel upon learning that my permanently-estranged father has died?

 

@LionsDragon It is what it is and you do not need to feel any guilt if you don't feel emotion over his passing.  This happened with my mother, with whom I had no closeness to during her life.  The only time I feel bad about it, it when it's Mother's Day and I just can't feel anything at all.  Just numb.  As I said, it is what it is.

 

Love your new signature BTW :)

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21 hours ago, welshblue said:

@LionsDragon ...it's OK to feel a glut of emotions/ thoughts even if they're bad; just the same as feeling grief ... and on the flip side it's OK not to feel anything at all. 

I was vilified by my siblings for  feeling nothing at all when my father died.  Just a shrug of the shoulder.  Remember you're entitled to feel and think whatever you want.  Be it grief and sadness or total detachment.  Nobody can judge.  Feel what's right for you 

 

Speaking personally I've found the hardest thing is there's no answers for past behaviour.  

 

<hug>

 

 

The one good thing I can say about my sister is that she's feeling about as much as I am, so no chance of being yelled at.

 

And...that's it, really. I think you hit right on it. I will never know why he made the choices that he did.

 

*hug*

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17 hours ago, lynxster4 said:

@LionsDragon feel whatever you need to feel...he's the one who lost out on having a relationship with his daughter.  <3

 

 

Both of us, really; my sister saw only slightly more of him than I did. ❤️

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8 hours ago, Pixey said:

 

@LionsDragon It is what it is and you do not need to feel any guilt if you don't feel emotion over his passing.  This happened with my mother, with whom I had no closeness to during her life.  The only time I feel bad about it, it when it's Mother's Day and I just can't feel anything at all.  Just numb.  As I said, it is what it is.

 

Love your new signature BTW :)

 

Yeah, Father's Day has always been a, "..Huh?" for me. I celebrate it for my FIL now, but always need to be reminded.

 

Thank you! :)

 

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Yes, echoing the thoughts of Welshy, Pixey & Lynxster. I cried when my father died because there are no more opportunities for to answer for his behaviours. I cried because I didn't get to have the father I & my siblings deserved (my brothers got a slightly better deal but I don't hold that against them). I often see on FB how much people miss their dads. I wish I could miss mine. In saying that I cried, I cried for me, not him.  I remember I did some artworks around that time. It helped me to come to grips with the fact that it will now always be what it was. I spoke to a work colleague who experienced a similar thing. We agreed that you can grieve for something you never had. I hope that helps you. 

 

How is your hubby doing? 

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It's sad that so many of us here can relate ... there's always been a need for  licences for many different things ... except to be a parent.

Why I've given my kids everything.  I moan about the 'material' things but only because I'm a grumpy sod.  I don't really mind

The things money can't buy I give unreservedly.  Love.  Support.  Friendship

 

Most importantly @LionsDragon you've got Todd.  Nothing else really matters ... one hug will always be worth everything the past didn't give

 

... and ladies - you've turned out great - so last laughs and all that

 

(listen to me ... the wise old sage ... I think this has just hit a nerve as I go back into hospital for the next cycle)

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On 6/26/2019 at 2:25 AM, barbieq25 said:

 We agreed that you can grieve for something you never had. I hope that helps you. 

 

How is your hubby doing? 

 

Yes...it helps quite a lot actually. Thank you. :)

 

No more blackouts so far, stents removed from the last batch of kidney stones, and currently napping. It's been a rough week.

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On 6/26/2019 at 3:53 AM, welshblue said:

... and ladies - you've turned out great - so last laughs and all that

 

(listen to me ... the wise old sage ... I think this has just hit a nerve as I go back into hospital for the next cycle)

 

You turned out pretty darn awesome yourself!

 

EEp...good luck!

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NVIDIA released their new RTX 2070 Super cards today, and EVGA sold out before I could buy one.

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