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My dogs are dying - my pets that have been a sort of "constant" since I was 2.  My new church is an extreme downgrade from the old one - and the only times I'm there anymore are Sundays (unlike my old church) and on those Sundays, I'm either in the tech booth or in my dad's office - the sermons rarely have a point or make me feel better about my faith, and the Sunday school for Highschool is unreasonably childish (singing "Father Abraham had Many Sons" [or whatever the proper title is] and "Deep and Wide" is not my idea of praise music) and lacks in any sort of constructive discussion.  My school work is unreasonable - I have geometry homework tonight on things that weren't taught that my sister - who is in Pre- Calculus - cannot help me with, and I had a dissection to do in biology that I had virtually no instructions on (as I was absent yesterday, when he gave instructions, and my partner, who is from South Korea, didn't understand what was being said, as he only came here over Christmas break) and my teacher, when I asked for further explanation, said that his little re-cap ("Do what I told you to do yesterday, get the pieces off the external body and put them on a sheet of paper and label them, then do the rest of the dissection and the report") should have been enough.  It's not, when I wasn't even aware we were doing a dissection. I can't sleep at night, even when I take Melatonin - it's why I had to stay home on Monday. My parents are always telling me that I need to do "fun" stuff that I don't want to do, such as Boy Scouts (I've tried it twice before and hated it both times) or random adventurous whims they have - probably because there's nothing in my free time to do that doesn't involve a computer.  I have a TV, a laptop, and an Xbox 360 - then there is outside, which isn't exactly great with no friends around, then there's the fact that no one else my age, that I know of, seems to live in my neighborhood, and the fact that there is no beach, no pond, no woods to go in... The only variety in my life is what sort of inconveniences I'll experience throughout a given day.  And, when I come home, I either won't have time to unwind doing anything (all of the homework that I have to go and figure out on my own, or my mom trying to get me to do something stupid) or I'll try to unwind on a video game, and be too wound up to get past all of the glitches or stupid people or whatever and end up angrier than before.


I'm getting tired of life.  And now I have to go spend a few hours trying to figure out what I need to do for my dissection report.  I literally, seriously, in all fairness, didn't get a single word of instruction for what I needed to do other than being told that I should have listened to him (while I wasn't at school).  I really want to punch something - even a pillow - but someone will hear, and I'll be in trouble for being human and having emotions. 


Screw this.  

The hardest part of ending is starting again. 

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I mean this in the nicest way, AGJM, but sometimes I find that reading your posts is, for me, like looking into a twisted mirror, and peering into a world in which the grass is always duller. I think perhaps you just need to step through that looking-glass, as it were - perform a cognitive shift. Don't lament the presence of the bad things in your life; increase the presence of the good things. If you don't have enought variety, it is your job to create some. The only thing you're ever going to have true control over in your life is your own actions, so start taking advantage of them.

I wish I could help with the lack of sleep, though, I honestly do; it is another manner in which I find myself to be similar to you. If you find something that helps, please do let me know.

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I could go on and on about how unfair life is. But instead of ranting about how bad somethings, many things, in my life are, I accept them and focus on the good. Like right now I'm very glad that I have motivation and inspiration to draw. And I feel like I can draw anything, which in turn makes me brighter and happier. At least for now. I suppose that's a downside of being prone to mood swings.

 

This is however the Rants section, so here goes, a minor rant: My exercise regimen isn't going as well as I'd hoped. It's so cold outside. :( Fortunately, our apartment is getting a couple of exercise machines - a treadmill and a cross-trainer basically - in an old room in the basement floor. However, it's taking far too long to get the machines there. :(

Edited by Kemaru

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The state of Victoria is burning while Queenslanders again are drowning (literally). Perhaps those of you who pray can do so for those who have lost loved ones & every single darned thing they own. 

 

Husband cannot go to work. Some folk have no place left to work at, some have no home, some have neither. I would cry if it didn't add to the water & I would cry if it could put the fires out. 

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Knowledge is no burden to carry.

 

April Jones, 2012

 
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Barbieq25, if it makes you feel a bit better, I got a good soaking tonight when I left work.  We got a good gully washing going on right now.  Then it is supposed to snow this Friday, marking the third weekend in a row that we have received snow on the eastern seaboard of the US.  I cannot wait for spring!

 

I guess that is a semi-rant.

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I had a nice little blizzard going on earlier, but the wind was blowing so hard none of it stayed :(

 

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We have plows and trucks taking care of excess snow, in Helsinki it is thrown in to the sea. Last year there was so much of it, the pile of snow still hadn't melted by July. 

 

Today was +4 degrees Celsius. It was nice to not shiver but the roads were in terrible shape.

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Homework can be such a headache!  It took me well over an hour to do my accounting homework and doing math still gives me headaches.

 

With so much rain we received last night, we had several roads flooded, no schools were opened today because of it, and at a local university, the lower level parking lots were flooded with some cars trapped on the lots.  I feel terrible for those students who cars are now total losses.  Counting my blessing, that's for sure!

 

Don't get me wrong, snow on the mountains, trees, and such are extremely beautiful to look at, but shoveling, driving in it, and being stuck on the highway because tractor-trailers think they can drive in snow drives me absolutely bonker.  It's even worse when I see sport cars (typically rear-wheel driven) trying to get up hill, and their tires are spinning madly on the pavements.

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I just felt like posting here.  
But my xbox controller keeps on disconnecting and my xbox won't connect to the internet, either.

Now I have to sit here and play on my laptop instead!  How outrageous.  It's not as if certain people wouldn't die for either of those or anything, right?

Dangit.

 

 

Anyways, a real rant - my little sisters are very, very loud, and I am very, very tired.

And no matter how tired I am, I can't sleep right - I've tried Melatonin and ZzzQuil, done more exercise to try to wear myself out - nothing works.  I haven't had a full night of sleep for over a week now.  Also, the right-click button on my laptop is breaking - and it's in better condition than my left click one.  And my dad walked out without closing the door. 


So, yeah.  Just tired and stuff isn't working.  Now, before you tell me all about how that means I am self-absorbed and self-pitying and whatever else, go back and read it in a happier tone.  

The hardest part of ending is starting again. 

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Xbox controller - mine does that when the batteries need replacing.  I use rechargeable batteries & cycle between two sets.

 

Xbox internet:  If using a cable - replace it.  I bought a brand new (dud) one & could not figure out why I couldn't connect.  A new $4 cable fixed the problem.

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Xbox controller - mine does that when the batteries need replacing.  I use rechargeable batteries & cycle between two sets.

 

Xbox internet:  If using a cable - replace it.  I bought a brand new (dud) one & could not figure out why I couldn't connect.  A new $4 cable fixed the problem.

 

Okay.  Thanks for the suggestion.  

I'm not quite sure what the problem is with the internet thing, but I'll get a cable if need be...  It stopped working after I moved it to another room.  

Edited by AGJM

The hardest part of ending is starting again. 

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Coffee doesn't work on me...

I try to stay awake by drinking some, but I only get jittery for about a half hour. Even within that half hour, I can fall asleep without a problem. For a little while, it helped, but I think that was more a result of the placebo effect. Now that I don't actually think it helps, it stopped working for me :/

 

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No, Paint.NET is not spyware...but, installing it is an IQ test. ~BoltBait

Blend modes are like the filling in your sandwich. It's the filling that can change your experience of the sandwich. ~Ego Eram Reputo

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Coffee never hypes me up, caffiene and sugar never really affect me.

 

Rant: Having returned to Colorado after 8 years in Virginia, I know nobody around the area and being homeschooled don't have much chance to get to know people, as everyone stays indoors in the winter.

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NMD, that must be tough for a young person. We've come back after 30 odd years away & while a lot of our old school buddies still live here, nobody is really interested in catching up & those who are, work when we have time off. Hope your situation changes soon :D

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Knowledge is no burden to carry.

 

April Jones, 2012

 
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NMD! My fellow homeschooler! It's always nice to find others. Another formerly homeschooled friend of mine just moved to CO. He really likes to ski. Maybe you should try that. 

 

Rant: Trying to study for an organic chemistry exam with a headache isn't really that productive...It's making the headache worse, and the desire to study less and less...

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Organic chemistry sounds interesting. How does it differ from just plain ol' chemistry?

 

Smells nicer!

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Barbie: Organic chemistry is the study of carbon and carbon containing compounds...exciting stuff  :P  I don't think we have paracetamol in the US, unless it goes by a different name here...

Edit: paracetamol = acetaminophen. Now I can agree that it would be a good idea. Don't want to be taking anything trippy  :evillaugh:

 

EER: Very funny! But to be truthful, that's only true in a few cases...get a whiff of some hexane and you'll agree...

 

Helen: I enjoyed taking it last semester and managed to get an A. However, this semester I have the toughest O-chem professor at my university (it was unavoidable...), so we'll see how it goes. There's a university-wide legend going around that he once gave out McDonald's applications with low-scoring tests smiley-shocked011.gif . I can neither confirm nor deny the veracity of this horrifying tale...

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Homeschooling isn't what put me ahead of everyone else...homeschooling with my Asian mom did.

Trust me, it ain't pretty, but it gets the job done.

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what I do all summer Emote Cursor Pack 'noob gallery

No, Paint.NET is not spyware...but, installing it is an IQ test. ~BoltBait

Blend modes are like the filling in your sandwich. It's the filling that can change your experience of the sandwich. ~Ego Eram Reputo

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