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Post your wise/funny sayings/quotes.


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A I think the title explains this pretty well.

I'll start with a few:

Always remember, you are unique, just like everybody else.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Nothing says "Oops!" Like a wall of flame.

When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Be nice to people, they outnumber you 5.5 billion to one.

It's all fun and games untill somebody gets hurt... then it's a new game: find the eyeball.

Life isn't Burger King, it's not your way.

Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the univers together.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

There are three types of people in this world: the ones who can count, and the ones who can't.

People usually get what's coming to them, unless it's been mailed.

If a vegatarian eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

If you are going to try cross country skiing, then start with a small country.

It has just been discovered that research causes diseases in rats.

"Here lies the body of Jonathan Biff, his cord was longer than the cliff."

I still have some more but I'm getting tired of typing. You guys have a turn now.

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These are actual epitaphs...

"Here lies Lotta Dust"

"I told you I was sick."

Other stuff...

"I am a resident alien."

A popup came on my screen once that said "Do you hate popups? Click here for ways to end them once and for all!"

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Nothing says "Oops!" Like a wall of flame.

I believe I heard that from America's Funniest Home Videos.

It's all fun and games untill somebody gets hurt... then it's a new game: find the eyeball.

I saw a t-shirt that said that.

Life isn't Burger King, it's not your way.

Bill Cosby- The Cosby Show

Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

I heard that yesterday (and a few other occasions), but I'm not sure if it was from this forum.

There are three types of people in this world: the ones who can count, and the ones who can't.

I have that shirt!

"The greatest thing about the Internet is that you can write anything you want and give it a false source." ~Ezra Pound

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SWEET!

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

On the other hand you have different fingers.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.

He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Just some for now.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former"

[ dA Paint.NET Chat :: Yata on dA ]

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Running Windows on a Pentium is like having a brand new Ferrari but only be able to drive backwards with the handbrake on.

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck will be the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

In 1968 it took the computing-Power of 2 C-64 to fly a rocket to the moon. Now, 1997 it takes the Power of a Pentium 3 SL5CH to run Windows Vista- Something must have gone wrong.

"The greatest thing about the Internet is that you can write anything you want and give it a false source." ~Ezra Pound

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I got a T-Shirt that says...

"Buy me a beer or the terrorists win."

and this one is from The Anchor Man. I find it funny probably cause I'm a filthy maths nerd.

99 percent of the time, it works every time.

oh yeh and this one is funny to me...

"Super Jesus Extreme - Because Praying is only half the battle."

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How about this one

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every second of it"

T-shirt. I gotta bunch.

"Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway"

"Before you critize someone, walk two miles in their shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be two miles away-and barefoot."

"Theres to much blood in my caffine system"

"Age is a very high price to pay for maturity."

"War determines not who is right, but who is left."

"Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposites?"

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."

"What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?"

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

"Life would be much easier if I had the source code."

"Whoever says that the small things don't matter should try sleeping with a mosquito in the room. "

"Love your enemies, it gets them really confused"

"Chaos, panic & disorder.... my work here is done."

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."

Thats all for now. I don't wanna type any more.

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Do not click!

Time flies when you're eating a donut.

My dA

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Lolz, don't got much be here they are:

"I'm a bomb engineer, if you see me running, you better keep up."

"If you can kill me, you must be hacker."

"If God is immortal and God is also Jesus and the Holy Spirit, then how come Jesus died?"

"Hackers Club: Hackers will be reported."

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"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

Rich Cook

:)

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"I never forget a face... In your case, I'll make an exception."

"There can't be a crisis this week, my schedule is already full."

"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma."

"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

"Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter."

"You're ugly, and according to surveys, 4 out of 5 dentists agree."

"Paris Hilton never changes. I may be drunk today, I'll be sober tommorow but Paris Hilton still stays ugly."

"I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it."

"This is no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man."

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the heck she is."

Ellen DeGeners.

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"

Paul Merton.

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."

Marty Feldman.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former"

[ dA Paint.NET Chat :: Yata on dA ]

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I'm from Germany so sentences with difficult words may be translated wrong. For that reason I'll also write the original version.

Das Leben ist eine Krankheit, die durch Sex übertragen wird und in 100% der Fälle tödlich endet.

Life is a disease passed on by having sex, which ends 100% deadly.

Fischers Fritz fischt frische Fische. Frische Fische fischt fischers Fritz.

Fishers' Fritz fishes fresh fish. Fresh fish is fished by Fishers' Fritz.

Wer das liest ist doof.

The one who reads this is stupid.

Und wer das hier auch noch liest, der hat eindeutig zu viel Freizeit.

And the one who reads this, too, has too much free-time.

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