MikeRobe

The Comedy Thread

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17 hours ago, TrevorOutlaw said:

giphy.gif

 

No ?

 

A football joke then ...

 

gudjohnsen-bad-johnson-boris-iceland.jpg

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@welshblue That was so bad it gave me a chuckle, so I'll upvote you for your effort.

 

So, I thought I would search for bad chemistry puns, and found one.  I present to you, Professor Cat:

 

37548590chhha.jpg

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1 hour ago, TrevorOutlaw said:

But, how does the horse knows his name is Jim?

 

The horse whisperer told him 😀

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2 hours ago, welshblue said:

 

The horse whisperer told him 😀

 

Now wait a minute here!

 

If a horse whisperer told the horse his name was Jim, does it mean that the horse whisperer's name was Jim?

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17 hours ago, TrevorOutlaw said:

If a horse whisperer told the horse his name was Jim, does it mean that the horse whisperer's name was Jim?

 

I don't think I'm on enough medication to get my head around it ... head's cabbaged

 

On another tangent ... do twins ever realise one wasn't wanted ... ?

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tumblr-m96wn6-JDCG1rr3l61o1-500.png

 

I've been in some bad situations in life but I've ever been only scared of those things.  I'm not too proud to admit I've stood on the sofa waiting for my wife to rescue me.  Shivers all over me at the thought of flying ones. 

Edited by welshblue

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Why so worried?  They don't each much...

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57 minutes ago, BoltBait said:

They don't each much...

 

Hehehehe

 

I just don't trust anything with so many legs and eyes ... I forget how many chainsaw brake casings I've had to replace after walking through a spiders web early morning and my saw, fuel /oil combi can and foodbag have gone for a flight whilst I scrabbled at my face.

Totally irrational but I'm glad I'm not the only one Wimps United

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My partner has the same pathological fear of creepy-crawlies 🕷️. A scream usually brings me running. I pick them up in my hands and gently remove them while she shudders. 

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tRump:

 

“He's rich, but you can't see his assets.

 

He's smart, but you can't see his grades.

 

He's got a plan to fix everything, but he's not going to share it with you.

 

Everything is amazing, but if it's not...that's something Obama did.

 

He's in incredible shape, but you can't see his health report.

 

He's innocent, but no you can't talk to anyone about that.

 

He hires only the best people to run our country, which is why there are so many job openings and definitely not because they all keep getting arrested.

 

He has a better and more substantial network of informants than the FBI and CIA combined, but no... you can't see where he's getting that information from.

 

I really wish I had a punchline for all of this.  But this is just life now, I guess.”

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:arrow-up:Funny.  Outta reps

 

Donald Trump issues new press release

 

D-Awd-PLUEAAsqk.jpg

 

... don't know why I'm laughing.  We're going to have our very own buffoon soon.  Better make use of the NHS before Trump gets his hands on it ... 

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For the upcoming Independence Day:

 

fw.jpg

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I keep asking people what LGBTQ+ means...

 

...but, I can't seem to get a straight answer.

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15 hours ago, BoltBait said:

I keep asking people what LGBTQ+ means...

 

...but, I can't seem to get a straight answer

 

You just made my day.  Fricking hilarious.  Funniest thing I've heard in a long time - rep when my rep bank replenishes

 

Times have certainly changed in schools.  Sex education used to be whispered warnings about the janitor ... 

 

thumb-this-is-bob-bob-has-no-arms-knock-

Edited by welshblue
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