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  • 2 months later...

Me: Look, I love you, but I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now.

Wife: But, I only...

Me: EXACTLY the amount.

 

Tax question #19:

Can I write off my marriage as a gambling loss?

 

You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved when first dating? After 20 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".

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Click to play:
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Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game

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  • 2 weeks later...
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  • 3 weeks later...

This is an image of the birds that like to sit on the top of our building.

 

A%20bunch%20of%20bums%20small%20for%20PD

 

Each time I see their posteriors up there, I am reminded of a childhood rhyme:

 

Little birdies in the sky

Drop their message from on high

'Oh' said the farmer wiping his eye

Jolly good thing that cows don't fly!

  • Upvote 1

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How I made Jennifer & Halle in Paint.net

My Gallery | My Deviant Art

"Rescuing one animal may not change the world, but for that animal their world is changed forever!" anon.

 
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Was driving along today when I had a little bump and nudged the car in front.  
The driver got out and I was surprised to see that he was a dwarf. 

He pulled himself up to his full 3 feet height and shouted "I am not happy!

"

So I replied "Which one are you then?" 

 

Edited by Si Borg
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  • 1 month later...

Some punny love stories right from the showbiz newsLAieA_008.gif

 

Mack Urrena and Buck Caneer are expecting a baby

Kirk D'Enterprise will marry Anna Sasin

Cody Pendant is still single

Eve Aporate and Al Bequerque are now married

Colin Toksho has broken off with Di Nomite

Anne Teak  has paired off with Jerry Attrick

pooh_lol.gif

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