BoltBait 2,949 Report post Posted April 19, 2016 Ok, I give, what's another word for thesaurus? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pixey 4,363 Report post Posted April 19, 2016 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lloyd 130 Report post Posted April 20, 2016 Two parrots on a perch... One says to the other "can you smell fish?" I'll show myself out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drydareelin 243 Report post Posted April 24, 2016 I'll show myself out I'll show you the door Remains to be seen if glass coffins becomes popular. Saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I apologise' mean the same thing, except when at a funeral. What do you get when you cross a pun with a rhetorical question? 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 2,949 Report post Posted July 10, 2016 Me: Look, I love you, but I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now. Wife: But, I only... Me: EXACTLY the amount. Tax question #19: Can I write off my marriage as a gambling loss? You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved when first dating? After 20 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive". 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pixey 4,363 Report post Posted July 21, 2016 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,925 Report post Posted September 6, 2016 I've already posted a smaller version of this humble edit in the latest SOTW contest thread, so I thought I'd post the original version where it's supposed to fit better 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,196 Report post Posted September 9, 2016 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,925 Report post Posted September 10, 2016 A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says, “make me one with everything.” 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 2,949 Report post Posted September 12, 2016 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cornemuse 55 Report post Posted September 13, 2016 (edited) Pavlov goes to a bar, sits down & orders a beer. The pay phone on the wall rings. Damn! He jumps up! Barkeep says: "Whats the problem? "I forgot to feed my dog!" Edited September 13, 2016 by cornemuse feng shui Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,925 Report post Posted September 26, 2016 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pixey 4,363 Report post Posted October 11, 2016 This is an image of the birds that like to sit on the top of our building. Each time I see their posteriors up there, I am reminded of a childhood rhyme: Little birdies in the sky Drop their message from on high 'Oh' said the farmer wiping his eye Jolly good thing that cows don't fly! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Si Borg 101 Report post Posted October 11, 2016 (edited) Was driving along today when I had a little bump and nudged the car in front. The driver got out and I was surprised to see that he was a dwarf. He pulled himself up to his full 3 feet height and shouted "I am not happy! " So I replied "Which one are you then?" Edited October 11, 2016 by Si Borg 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nitenurse79 621 Report post Posted October 12, 2016 A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar......... The bartender says - "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,925 Report post Posted November 23, 2016 A guy gave his friend ten puns hoping that one of them would make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rickhum 358 Report post Posted November 23, 2016 Why doesn't Elton John eat lettuce? Because he's a Rocket man. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,925 Report post Posted November 23, 2016 Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one..... He's never gonna give you Up 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,196 Report post Posted November 29, 2016 Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months? Answer: The box said 3-5 years! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,196 Report post Posted December 1, 2016 Doctor, doctor, what can I do, my little boy has swallowed my pen? Use a pencil till I get there. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,925 Report post Posted December 2, 2016 Some punny love stories right from the showbiz news Mack Urrena and Buck Caneer are expecting a baby Kirk D'Enterprise will marry Anna Sasin Cody Pendant is still single Eve Aporate and Al Bequerque are now married Colin Toksho has broken off with Di Nomite Anne Teak has paired off with Jerry Attrick 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,925 Report post Posted December 7, 2016 — How does Moses make his tea? — Hebrews it. I'm serious that Israeli how he does it (nothing really new, but worth sharing from time to time ) 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pixey 4,363 Report post Posted December 12, 2016 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,196 Report post Posted January 2, 2017 (edited) New year jump! Edited April 17, 2018 by Seerose 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
