welshblue 2,173 Report post Posted December 29, 2018 Four soldiers are captured in Iraq A Welshman, a Scotsman, an Irishman and an English man. Their captors tell them they have one last request before being executed The Welshman says, " I want to hear Land of My Fathers, 50 times" The Scotsman says, " I want to hear Flower of Scotland 50 times" The Irishman says, " I want to hear The Soldier's Song 50 times" The Englishman says, " FFS Please shoot me first ..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,761 Report post Posted January 3 Bono and The Edge walk into a bar, to which the bartender exclaims, “Oh, dear God! Not U2 again!” 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 2,337 Report post Posted January 5 How it happens: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 2,337 Report post Posted January 7 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
welshblue 2,173 Report post Posted January 9 Dignitas. The once in a lifetime trip Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrevorOutlaw 171 Report post Posted January 9 The Pillsbury dough boy went to a beach one day and forgot to bring sunscreen. He came back toasted. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HyReZ 247 Report post Posted January 10 (edited) @TrevorOutlaw Edited January 10 by HyReZ inserting additional information 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 3,744 Report post Posted January 15 *Construction 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
welshblue 2,173 Report post Posted January 16 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 2,337 Report post Posted January 16 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 3,744 Report post Posted January 16 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ego Eram Reputo 2,273 Report post Posted January 16 It is better to have a bad plan than no plan. Garry Kasparov, How Life Imitates Chess (2007) (just sayin') 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 3,744 Report post Posted January 17 (edited) Edited January 17 by Seerose 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 2,337 Report post Posted January 19 Does your brain have a hard time reading that? Be honest... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 2,337 Report post Posted January 19 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pixey 3,492 Report post Posted January 19 Ha - ha @BoltBait it's taken 48 hours for me to get the joke here At first I thought it was a naughty dream, then the penny dropped 😂 cow lick hair 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
welshblue 2,173 Report post Posted January 19 (edited) @BoltBait but lost the spelling bee when they got there 😋 Shouldn't laugh, but after a night of beer and a vindaloo ... serves him right for waking me up Edited January 19 by welshblue Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
welshblue 2,173 Report post Posted January 22 I saw my Grandfather sat outside with no trousers or pants on. Fearing dementia, I asked him what he was doing and he said, "It's your Gran's idea. Last week I sat outside with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck ..." Soon to be stripped of the Homer Award Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ego Eram Reputo 2,273 Report post Posted January 23 My wife wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat, but my mate told me that they are really expensive. So I bought two normal cats and Superglued their heads together. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
welshblue 2,173 Report post Posted January 23 🤣 Reminds me of the two American Siamese sisters arguing where to go on vacation in Europe. "Why do you want to go to the UK so much ?" asks one The other replies, "I want to drive for a change ..." (Not sure my wife had to say, Imagine if you were a siamese twin ... the world's worst nightmare 🤔🙄) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximilian 1,761 Report post Posted January 24 — When does a joke become a dad joke? — When it becomes apparent. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 3,744 Report post Posted January 24 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
