MikeRobe

The Comedy Thread

Recommended Posts

:LayersMoveLayerUp:That is going to do my head in all day... 

 

I picked up a hitchhiker.  You've got to when you hit them ...

Trump is nothing like Hitler.  There's no way he could write a book

 

Surely every car is a people carrier ?

I wasn't close to my dad before he died ... which was lucky because he trod on a land-mine
 

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting.' 

 

Edited by welshblue

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm driving my wife mad with these puns but some people are so very clever

 

I've written a song about tortillas ... actually it's more of a rap

 

I was at a climbing centre the other day but someone had stolen all the grips off the wall.  You couldn't make it up

 

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”

 

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am

 

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. 
Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just remembered this one after reading T_H's Tartan thread

 

How can you tell what clan a Scotsman is from ?

Look under his kilt and if he's got 1/4 pounder he's a McDonald ... 

Edited by welshblue
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:LayersMoveLayerUp: On one hand funny ... on the other, sobering thought (on a human level ... not a political one #survivors)

 

tea_bag.png

Edited by welshblue
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BoltBait ... you've answered part of my wonderings ...

 

4596990-6216531-image-a-2_1538085869785.

Kavanaugh-meme-300x300.jpg

 

I don't usually get into politics, 'cos it's a bit like waterboarding ... and having a choice between having still or sparkling 

... but right now I'm glad to only have Brexit and Theresa May making a fool of herself trying to dance, to worry about

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1zzq5s8pc0jz.jpg

 

... on that subject - If someone steps onto the road because they're reading their phone -  they should be fair game.

Is social media really that important ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't you just hate it when you're singing along to a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong ... ?

 

At my age "Getting Lucky" means finding my car again in the car park

 

When a woman says, "What?!" ... she heard you first time.  She's just giving you a chance to change what you said

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.