Seerose 4,270 Posted July 3, 2018 Report Share Posted July 3, 2018 *Either way. End result again and again 234 2 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 3,190 Posted July 7, 2018 Report Share Posted July 7, 2018 2 Quote Click to play: Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game Link to post Share on other sites
Pixey 4,658 Posted July 7, 2018 Report Share Posted July 7, 2018 What do you call a 350 lb stripper? Answer: Spoiler Broke! 1 Quote How I made Jennifer & Halle in Paint.net My Gallery | My Deviant Art "Rescuing one animal may not change the world, but for that animal their world is changed forever!" anon. Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 3,190 Posted July 10, 2018 Report Share Posted July 10, 2018 3 Quote Click to play: Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted July 10, 2018 Report Share Posted July 10, 2018 2 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 3,190 Posted July 11, 2018 Report Share Posted July 11, 2018 1 Quote Click to play: Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game Link to post Share on other sites
cornemuse 56 Posted July 12, 2018 Report Share Posted July 12, 2018 (edited) Downloading here is simplified to absurdity, I was about to give up, , , , but persisted. Its getting like MacDonalds, the cash register has pictures of Big Macs, Large Fries, etc. Edited July 13, 2018 by cornemuse frustration!! 1 Quote 'Where's my plinth?' Link to post Share on other sites
Pixey 4,658 Posted July 14, 2018 Report Share Posted July 14, 2018 3 Quote How I made Jennifer & Halle in Paint.net My Gallery | My Deviant Art "Rescuing one animal may not change the world, but for that animal their world is changed forever!" anon. Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 3,190 Posted July 20, 2018 Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 3 Quote Click to play: Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 3,190 Posted July 20, 2018 Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 2 Quote Click to play: Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted July 22, 2018 Report Share Posted July 22, 2018 A police officer stops a car. Officer: “Your driver’s license please.” Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.” Officer: “At home?” Driver: “No, to do it.” ================================================= Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager! “ Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.” ================================================= A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.” ================================================= A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?” The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!” ================================================= Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you've become such a passionate kisser… What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains! 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
tysmvm 0 Posted July 23, 2018 Report Share Posted July 23, 2018 On 2/9/2015 at 8:59 PM, Drydareelin said: Einstein developed a theory about space. It's about time too! that was good Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 3,190 Posted July 23, 2018 Report Share Posted July 23, 2018 1 Quote Click to play: Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted July 28, 2018 Report Share Posted July 28, 2018 If a burglar ever broke into my house and searched for money. I'd just laugh and search with him. ======================================= I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want? ======================================= Me opening the fridge: "Baby you light up my world like nobody else." ======================================= My daughter is really in Halloween spirit. She has been in her pregnant lady dress for months now. ======================================= They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? ======================================= Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too. 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
BoltBait 3,190 Posted July 29, 2018 Report Share Posted July 29, 2018 2 Quote Click to play: Download: BoltBait's Plugin Pack | CodeLab | and how about a Computer Dominos Game Link to post Share on other sites
lynxster4 3,068 Posted July 29, 2018 Report Share Posted July 29, 2018 ???...how true that is! ^^ Quote My Art Gallery | My Shape Packs | ShapeMaker Mini Tut | Air Bubble Stained Glass Chrome Text with Reflections | Porcelain Text w/ Variegated Coloring | Realistic Knit PatternOpalescent Stained Glass | Frosted Snowman Cookie | Leather Texture | Plastic Text | Silk Embroidery Visit my Personal Website "Never, ever lose your sense of humor - you'll live longer" Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted July 31, 2018 Report Share Posted July 31, 2018 A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face. ========================================================= What is dangerous? Sneezing while having diarrhea! ========================================================= "Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?" "So you can all be really sad when I die." ========================================================= Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?! ========================================================= Q: Is Google a he or a she? A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas. 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 1, 2018 Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 They threw me out of the cinema today for bringing my own food. But come on – the prices are way too high, plus I haven’t had a barbecue in months. ================================================== Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?” Son: “Yeah.” Detector: “Beep.“ Son: “OK, OK, I was in a cinema.” Detector: “Beep.” Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.” Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“ Detector: “Beep.” Mother laughs: “Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!” Detector: “Beep.” ================================================== A detective asks a woman, "So, your husband hanged himself?" Woman replies, "Yes, that is correct." The suspicious detective continues, "But why does he have all those bruises on his head?" 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 2, 2018 Report Share Posted August 2, 2018 What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia! ================================================ A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!” Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“ ================================================ I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!” So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?” That’s about as far as I remember. ================================================ Why is women’s soccer so rare? It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit. 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 5, 2018 Report Share Posted August 5, 2018 Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and calls 911. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help you. First of all, let's make sure he's dead." There’s a silence, then a gun shot. The guy gets back on the phone and says "OK, now what?" 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 9, 2018 Report Share Posted August 9, 2018 Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp. The genie grants each of them one wish. The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted. The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted. The third guy says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted. 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 10, 2018 Report Share Posted August 10, 2018 What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs. =================================================== Secretary: “Doctor the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment.” Doctor: “Tell him I can"t see him.” =================================================== Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry. =================================================== Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks. I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?” He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.” 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 12, 2018 Report Share Posted August 12, 2018 Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.” ================================================== In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles. One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?” The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.” 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 1 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
Seerose 4,270 Posted August 15, 2018 Report Share Posted August 15, 2018 They say milk gives strength. I drank 4 cups and couldn’t move a wall. But when I took 4 bottles of beers, I saw the wall moving itself. These scientists should better stop their lies. ==================================== A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigator” The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job? Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview. ==================================== 8 p.m. I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football? 11 p.m. I SMS my girlfriend: You of course. 2 Quote Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi Link to post Share on other sites
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