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Watch two blondes get a cowboy movie, in which a cowboy goes on a huge cactus field!
"I bet with you around 10 euros, that goes through there!", Says the one.
"I bet he's not riding through," says the other.
The cowboy rides through!
Says the first: "Alright! Can keep your coal! I've seen the movie before! "
Says the second: "Me too! But I did not think he'd go through again! "
 

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Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Gandhi

 

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  1

 

An elderly woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.
     The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
     The elderly woman says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you husband and wife.

2

In answer to the question, "Hot enough for you?"

 

Inline image 2

 

 

3

 

59cb2ae313a04_stormcar2.jpg.0c431b8817a8e99e64d25150e6148c81.jpg[picture edited with PDN]

John Bradly, a young university student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. 

As it got later and later and still no car came by.  The storm was so strong he could hardly see more than a few feet ahead. 

 

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and it stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door ... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't running.   

 

The car then started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.  Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with fear, watched as the hand pulled back through the window.  

 

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a bar appear down the road, so, gathering his strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it... Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.

 

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and shaking ... and wasn't drunk 

 

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other men walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John  sobbing at the bar, one said to the other.

 

'Look Frankie ... there's that idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it !'

  • Like 1

       Scooter

  I'm still too young, to be this doggone old

   paint.net: I can learn it, I can...mostly, I think👨‍🦳

 

       

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Paint.net user A: I heard Microsoft is going to put MSpaint into the store. I am worrying that they will improve it to beat Paint.net... :| 

Paint.net user B: No worries. As long as Windows updates always fail, no one can access to the store, so they have to use Paint.net :) 

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道生一,一生二,二生三,三生萬物。

non-existence made one, one made two, two made three, three made matters.

道可道,非常道;名可名,非常名。

well-defined principles are not eternal principles, names that can be named are not eternal names.

 

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Why does the blonde always invite a whole group of people to watch movies? It means: released from 18.

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

<3 @ I give points on Monday.

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Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Gandhi

 

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Maxilian LOL  especially the sign ..."will be "shoot" on sight :D

 

Oh, Seerose perhaps  Eli is only getting clear, how long ago 18 was 

On Ward to better humor and I hear welshblue is buying the whole class Jelly Babies - if they like his next joke 

1-

80 Year Old Couple Texting  

 Something for all you romantics
 

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. 
 The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
 One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
 She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. 
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears……..  
I love you."


 The husband texted back to her:
  "I'm on the toilet.    Please advise."

2- 

Nine  Important Facts to Remember As We Grow Older:

#9-Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8-Life is sexually transmitted.
#7-Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
#6-Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they
can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes,
make him a sandwich.
#5-Give  a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks,
months, maybe years unless you give them your email
address.
#4-Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the
hospital, dying of nothing.
#3-All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
#2-In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it
normal.
#1-Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be
a burning issue tomorrow.

 

bow2.gif.377161098acb8af7145a14d7160942bb.gifla fin

  • Like 4

       Scooter

  I'm still too young, to be this doggone old

   paint.net: I can learn it, I can...mostly, I think👨‍🦳

 

       

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10 hours ago, welshblue said:

Two English tourists are driving through Wales and they stop in Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch. (really a place)

Stopping for lunch, one says to the girl behind the counter, " Before we order, can you settle a bet for us.  Can you pronounce where we are very, very slowly "

 

The girl leaned over the counter and says, " Burrrr ... Gurrr Kinnng ..."

:lol: Class :lol: 

BREtKQW.png

 

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10 hours ago, welshblue said:

Two English tourists are driving through Wales and they stop in Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch. (really a place)

Stopping for lunch, one says to the girl behind the counter, " Before we order, can you settle a bet for us.  Can you pronounce where we are very, very slowly "

 

The girl leaned over the counter and says, " Burrrr ... Gurrr Kinnng ..."

 

I think she's got a cousin in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin (they tell a similar joke there; now I know where they got it!).

1496930299_DraconicSig.png.8e49d04e5ce393bdcdf9f0dfb54bf1c8.png

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  Welshblue.....Really ? had 36DDs in her name! WOW, ; I'll Bet she vacationed in Tetaumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturipukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu, NZ on her honeymoon  ROLF1.gif.8add69e223e6707c01b21d698ce82e94.gif

And the rest of you lot........59d7d4849a461_giphy(3).gif.924865493eda8c9d9f73b1104a71852b.gif

 

 

If I may, 

1x0ozu.jpg.f04d1d61f027a585334675c58532a2b6.jpg

 

COMPUTER ERROR!!! 

 

404.JPG.49dcc81a44a14ab69aca42e5156088d5.JPG

 

I bid you,  hwyl fawr a noson dda     bow.gif.509d74ae55d959d8c2f81f57889e1874.gif   goodbye and good night

  • Like 2

       Scooter

  I'm still too young, to be this doggone old

   paint.net: I can learn it, I can...mostly, I think👨‍🦳

 

       

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On ‎10‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 11:53 PM, welshblue said:

 

@Scooter ...‎ TI speakers ... How do you guy today?

 

 

WelchBlue ... HD hears... Do I good fellow today -----I LOVE GOOGLE Translators  ( you should see what I thought I said in Eng-er-lish )----Never Mind, too late !  minds gone  :happeh:ouarf.gif.a2809894a8ae11b8b60a4830d957b988.gif

  • Like 1

       Scooter

  I'm still too young, to be this doggone old

   paint.net: I can learn it, I can...mostly, I think👨‍🦳

 

       

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I laughed  at this one..........WAIT a Minuet ! , do you mean.....

59dbb1cc88094_bitoffunbumper.jpg.943e27edf2c132966139c5d0647beab1.jpg

 

Yeah Computer stuff IS complex .....

 

b6109af6-487f-43f6-a734-7422eff0455a.thumb.png.060f444f4359ed793c97f7cb7ee17904.png

 

 

And just for my favorite Seerose, (just as you all suspected)....

bike.png.605c46ba2ba0e4ffaefbc9d9507726f5.png

  • Like 2
  • Upvote 1

       Scooter

  I'm still too young, to be this doggone old

   paint.net: I can learn it, I can...mostly, I think👨‍🦳

 

       

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