MikeRobe

The Comedy Thread

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I'll show myself out  :|

I'll show you the door ;)

 

 

Remains to be seen if glass coffins becomes popular.

 

Saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I apologise' mean the same thing, except when at a funeral.

 

What do you get when you cross a pun with a rhetorical question?

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Me: Look, I love you, but I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now.

Wife: But, I only...

Me: EXACTLY the amount.

 

Tax question #19:

Can I write off my marriage as a gambling loss?

 

You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved when first dating? After 20 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".

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I've already posted a smaller version of this humble edit in the latest SOTW contest thread, so I thought I'd post the original version where it's supposed to fit better pooh_lol.gif

 

Yoda_Joke_Six_Seven_Eight.gif

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Pavlov goes to a bar, sits down & orders a beer. The pay phone on the wall rings. Damn! He jumps up! Barkeep says: "Whats the problem?

 

 

"I forgot to feed my dog!"

Edited by cornemuse
feng shui

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This is an image of the birds that like to sit on the top of our building.

 

A%20bunch%20of%20bums%20small%20for%20PD

 

Each time I see their posteriors up there, I am reminded of a childhood rhyme:

 

Little birdies in the sky

Drop their message from on high

'Oh' said the farmer wiping his eye

Jolly good thing that cows don't fly!

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Was driving along today when I had a little bump and nudged the car in front.  
The driver got out and I was surprised to see that he was a dwarf. 

He pulled himself up to his full 3 feet height and shouted "I am not happy!

"

So I replied "Which one are you then?" 

 

Edited by Si Borg
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Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one..... He's never gonna give you Up mosking.gif

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Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?   Answer: The box said 3-5 years! ;)

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Doctor, doctor, what can I do, my little boy has swallowed my pen?
Use a pencil till I get there. :lol:

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Some punny love stories right from the showbiz newsLAieA_008.gif

 

Mack Urrena and Buck Caneer are expecting a baby

Kirk D'Enterprise will marry Anna Sasin

Cody Pendant is still single

Eve Aporate and Al Bequerque are now married

Colin Toksho has broken off with Di Nomite

Anne Teak  has paired off with Jerry Attrick

pooh_lol.gif

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— How does Moses make his tea?

— Hebrews it. I'm serious that Israeli how he does it

mosking.gif

 

(nothing really new, but worth sharing from time to time :))

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