MikeRobe

The Comedy Thread

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19 hours ago, TrevorOutlaw said:

real men

Never could fathom out what constitutes a real man.  As opposed to ? ? (Unless they're transitioning  ... then I get it)

 

A husband had just finished reading the book, 'BE A REAL MAN IN THE HOUSE.'

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterwards."

Then, after dinner, you are going to run me my bath, so I can relax. When I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" 
 

His wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess." 
 

 

Edited by welshblue
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1 hour ago, welshblue said:

Never could fathom out what constitutes a real man.  As opposed to ? ? (Unless they're transitioning  ... then I get it)

 

I always consult the manual as I am assembling pieces of furniture or doing maintenance work on my truck.

Edited by TrevorOutlaw
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I just popped over to my Grandma's, and you've got to hand it to her.

At 96, she had all the Halloween decorations up, cobwebs and insects in the windows and a skeleton on the couch.

She always makes a big effort, but there was no answer... I'll pop back next year.

 

I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.

Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...

 

I visited a real graveyard this Halloween...

I logged back in to Google Plus.

 

How's everyone holding up? It's just crazy out there! I've killed 25 zombies so far! And why the hell are they all carrying candy?

 

Halloween is easily the scariest night of the year, what with the dead rising from their graves...

and fat girls thinking they look sexy dressed as cats.

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12 hours ago, BoltBait said:

@Ego Eram Reputo, My wife said, she will leave me, if I take part in the chess tournament next week.”

“Oh, no @BoltBait!  What will you do?”

“1. e4, like always!”

 

I've been chuckling to myself since I've read this

 

... reminds me of the time when I asked my wife why she was leaving me 

"Because I'm fed up of you thinking you're a Transformer"

 

"Please stay.  I can change ..."

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