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AGJM

What is the best insult you have ever made?

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What was the best insult, completely from your own mind, that you have ever made/used?

On the second day of eighth grade, a child in my grade who was... "tall from side to side" (quoted from Fiddler on the Roof) boasted that he could beat me up.

I simply said "No."

He replied "How much do you weigh?"

I answered "About 140"

He asked "How much do you think I weigh?"

I replied "Too much."

He was... upset, to say the least. There was another instance when he told me to turn down my iPod's volume as to not damage my hearing, so I replied that if I wouldn't hear his voice it wouldn't be all that bad.

I guess all that was immature, but he went out of his way to verbally assault me about three times before that first instance. He said that my hair looked like corn rows, that I sat by myself for attention, and that I was dumb because I liked rock music... He didn't have the guts to say those things to my face, sadly.

So, what was the best insult that you have ever thought up or used?

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My best are not fit to repeat here. However,

I once told a victim they had a Jimi Hendrix hairdo.

Victim: "Why Jimi Hendrix?"

Me: "He's been dead for 25 years."

boltbait.lol.png

  • Upvote 3

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Caucasian friend: Dude you're asian; you probably aced that test

Me: Well, I'm only half asian, so I only got half of the answers right...

Took him some time to figure it out, but he managed it eventually :lol:

PS I did ace the test...just in case you were wondering

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Well, these days I'm usually saying something insulting all the time, but I pretend to just be ignorant, it's sooo funny.

 

<snip>

Edited by pyrochild
Swearing with @ substitued for 'a' is still swearing. Don't.

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Someone once asked me how much my hairdresser would charge to cut his hair. I looked & frowned & said probably $50.

 

That much to cut hair?! 

 

My response was no, $5.00 to cut the hair, the $45.00 is search fee... :D

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"I can feel your pain and totally understand why you're so upset... If any of us looked like you do, we'd all be mad as hell too." - RF :)

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One time, some kid would not stop messing with me, and one day I finally lost it and recited Chevy Chase's famous rant from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. If you don't remember it, here it is. This contains some bad language, just warning you.

youtube.com/watch?v=afbLb8A6oSE

Edited by teh501stSnoipeh

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<sharp intake of breath smiley >

 

... but actually you're right and I'll exhale before I turn blue and you've got to resuscitate me ;)

 

I'm 'orrible and proud  :P

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