Jump to content

What is the best insult you have ever made?


AGJM

Recommended Posts

What was the best insult, completely from your own mind, that you have ever made/used?

On the second day of eighth grade, a child in my grade who was... "tall from side to side" (quoted from Fiddler on the Roof) boasted that he could beat me up.

I simply said "No."

He replied "How much do you weigh?"

I answered "About 140"

He asked "How much do you think I weigh?"

I replied "Too much."

He was... upset, to say the least. There was another instance when he told me to turn down my iPod's volume as to not damage my hearing, so I replied that if I wouldn't hear his voice it wouldn't be all that bad.

I guess all that was immature, but he went out of his way to verbally assault me about three times before that first instance. He said that my hair looked like corn rows, that I sat by myself for attention, and that I was dumb because I liked rock music... He didn't have the guts to say those things to my face, sadly.

So, what was the best insult that you have ever thought up or used?

The hardest part of ending is starting again. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My best are not fit to repeat here. However,

I once told a victim they had a Jimi Hendrix hairdo.

Victim: "Why Jimi Hendrix?"

Me: "He's been dead for 25 years."

boltbait.lol.png

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Caucasian friend: Dude you're asian; you probably aced that test

Me: Well, I'm only half asian, so I only got half of the answers right...

Took him some time to figure it out, but he managed it eventually :lol:

PS I did ace the test...just in case you were wondering

No, Paint.NET is not spyware...but, installing it is an IQ test. ~BoltBait

Blend modes are like the filling in your sandwich. It's the filling that can change your experience of the sandwich. ~Ego Eram Reputo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

Some girl (who is a jerk) once said "Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer!"

I told her that her face would break the camera.

Edited by teh501stSnoipeh

76561198056079309.png

 

Steam Profile: http://steamcommunity.com/id/glitchmaster225/

 

“If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”

Steven Wright

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, these days I'm usually saying something insulting all the time, but I pretend to just be ignorant, it's sooo funny.

 

<snip>

Edited by pyrochild
Swearing with @ substitued for 'a' is still swearing. Don't.

"....brings out the duty in my soul" -Spinal Tap

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...

One time, some kid would not stop messing with me, and one day I finally lost it and recited Chevy Chase's famous rant from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. If you don't remember it, here it is. This contains some bad language, just warning you.

youtube.com/watch?v=afbLb8A6oSE

Edited by teh501stSnoipeh

76561198056079309.png

 

Steam Profile: http://steamcommunity.com/id/glitchmaster225/

 

“If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”

Steven Wright

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...