The Laughter Warehouse (Unfunny jokes are un-banzored)

[Simon Brown]

I have created thread where jokes can be posted, stored and shipped to other members. Here you can post jokes of any kind providing they obey the forum rules and do not consist of purely images (as there is already such a thread).

Credit to bobofthedead for the idea.

[vista?]

are not unfunny

I've been excluded from a thread! :shock: You could always edit the title to include "vista? is not allowed to post unfunny jokes in this thread" or something similar to that! :wink:

[HITMAN-X-]

are not unfunny

I've been excluded from a thread! :shock: You could always edit the title to include "vista? is not allowed to post unfunny jokes in this thread" or something similar to that! :wink:

Question is how is a joke unfunny ? Just because it is unfunny to one person does not mean it is unfunny to another person. If that was the case then the TV show Frasier would have been off the air on day one.

[Simon Brown]

Unfunny jokes are now un-banned, but unfunny-jokers are urged to use spoiler tags.

[Max Power]

are not unfunny

I've been excluded from a thread! :shock: You could always edit the title to include "vista? is not allowed to post unfunny jokes in this thread" or something similar to that! :wink:

Question is how is a joke unfunny ? Just because it is unfunny to one person does not mean it is unfunny to another person. If that was the case then the TV show Frasier would have been off the air on day one.

The amount Vista's jokes suck is too great for words. (no offence :o ) No really they are not just unfunny to one person, even Vista says that they are unfunny...so why is he posting them? Is opposite day and the people are supposed to laugh? :?

[punisherjb]

well i think vista is funny but then again i also though ash was god.....

[Bobofthedead]

Thank you very much for that:

Off Topic thread[/url]":3g9nooew]I have an idea for a thread, to act as a sort of an antithesis against Vista's bl£%($%^&$*^$£%"$% awful jokes: how's about a thread for actual funny jokes? We've got a thread for hatred, a thread for happiness and a thread for ramblings, but no thread for pure sheer laughter. How's about it?

Obviously there will be rules, but to what extent? Obviously no racism, sexism, homophobias or suchlike, but should this be to the extent that we can't talk about married life or religion? Where should they stop?

I believe plagiarism/theft of intellectual property is considered at least immoral in many countries.

.:EDIT:.

I shall be away until Friday. A mod can sort out this one if he so wishes.

[Sozo]

I'll be the first to actually post a joke, then.

Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have ducked.

[Andrew D]

The amount Vista's jokes suck is too great for words. (no offence :o ) No really they are not just unfunny to one person, even Vista says that they are unfunny...so why is he posting them? Is opposite day and the people are supposed to laugh? :?

He wants to steal one of my awards

I can't believe he'd want such an award, but oh well.

[Recon2pointO]

Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have ducked.

lol

i wish i knew some jokes :\

[Stephan]

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scot walk into a bar. Says the bartender: "What is this? Some kinda joke?"

[Yata]

Stephan just reminded me:

An Irish man walked out of a bar.

The end.

[Recon2pointO]

i remember and old onefrom a while back dont take offense to those wet blankets out their its a joke :\

ok three mexicans got caught by the border patrol trying to get into america. so the officer sees their torn clothes and cuts and bruises and feels sorry for them and says " if you can use green pink and yellow in a sentence ill let u into america." the first two cant do it, when he comes to the third mexican he says

Hidden Content:

" the phone goes green green i pink it up and go yellow!!!"

[GeminiS]

An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a pub.

Each ordered a pint of beer . Then a fly landed in each one's

beer . The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one .The Scott took the fly out ,

shrugged, and drank his beer . The Irishman pinched the fly

between his fingers and yelled " SPIT IT OUT! "SPIT IT OUT!"

[Dalton]

An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a pub.

Each ordered a pint of beer . Then a fly landed in each one's

beer . The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one .The Scott took the fly out ,

shrugged, and drank his beer . The Irishman pinched the fly

between his fingers and yelled " SPIT IT OUT! "SPIT IT OUT!"

HAHA!!

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

[Yata]

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Men are like bank accounts.

Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush

[Dalton]

"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush

Something our oh so wonderful president would say..

Men are like bank accounts.

Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

Bahah. So true..

Jokezerz:

What do you do when a Blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like heck, ‘cause she’s got a grenade in her mouth!

[Simon Brown]

Unfortunately, I am terrible at joke creation, but here are two links to jokes elsewhere:

http://employmentblawg.blogspot.com/200 ... ltant.html

http://startrekguide.com/community/view ... =19&t=5326

[Bobofthedead]

Ya know, for someone who self-professedly has no sense of humour, those were actually pretty good.

I've decided I'll get nowhere with grilling an 11-year old(?) about intellectual property rights that probably weren't in existence any way, so I'll just joke here:

.:EDIT:.

I've just noticed your note crediting me for the idea, sab, thanks for that. Boom! Problem solved at both ends!

.:ENDOFEDIT:.

A Catholic priest dies after many years in the clergy, having spent his whole life doing good works and following all the rules and regulations set down by his religion. Anyway, he is taken to heaven, whereupon he decides to spend eternity studying the ancient texts that the library in heaven had, well-bound, first-editions and all signed by the author. After spending decades learning the languages the texts were written in, such as Hebrew and Aramaic, he gets the first dusty tome his eye falls upon, and starts to read, and commentate.

After a while, he comes screaming out of the library, then falls in tears at the foot of an angel.

"Whatever's the matter", the angel asked.

"They missed out an 'R'", the priest sobbed, "They meant CELEBRATE!"

[Simon Brown]

Ya know, for someone who self-professedly has no sense of humour, those were actually pretty good.

I didn't write those.

[vista?]

I've decided I'll get nowhere with grilling an 11-year old(?)

Me? :? But I'm 12!

Anyway, here's my best Unfunny joke of the month as seen on my site:

Hidden Content:

Q: What is the name of Europe's largest mathematics contest?

A: Eurodivision

[Bobofthedead]

OK then, you have a good eye for a joke, sab... Or ear... Or sensory organ.

And, Vista, I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about the issue over whose idea this thread was, which has now been resolved.