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Posts posted by Aislin

  1. this is a cat I used to have....

    she was crazy and funny and ran out of nowhere through the whole hous as if she was running after a mouse or if a dog tried to catch her... lol! When I moved to Belgium i had to give her away and she lives now with my exboyfriend who takes good care of her :) her name was Poeppie lol, pronounced as poopy LOL


    • Upvote 2
  2. hahah thanks whisper...

    if you have a little difficulty with understanding, I have made an other tutorial, which actually explains the more basic steps, I did not realize, when I made this one, that it really is a heavy image to do... my bad... anyway, here is the link, if you would like to try the basic steps

    Hand painting

    • Upvote 1
  3. AGJM, You must know that there are a lot of people with the same feelings and thoughts, like that friend of yours who indirectly saved you. To be honest, I was someone who did that too, until I almost threw myself out of a window from an apartment at the 14th floor... that actually opened my eyes (I was just 18 back then so almost 5 years ago).

    You have found a really good way to express your emotions, because that is what depression usually is, keeping your emotions inside. Use PDN, use a diary to express yourself and you'll be okey, although it might take a while...

    I feel a bit odd to tell my story, I do not want to pull all the attention over to me, which is a part of the problem why I got depressed in the first place. It started when my parents got a divorce when I was 12 years old. My mom needed someone to talk with and I always listen to people when they need someone to talk to, so she told me that my dad and she were splitting up. I was not allowed to tell it to my brother and sister, of course, that is the job of the parents...

    Hidden Content:
    Allright, that was a hard time, I was there for my mom who was very sad whole the time and my dad was, I don't know where. After a couple months she met some guy through the net, but I hated him... My mom, at the same time, started to talk very angry about my dad, told things that were not true, so my mom and I started fighting a lot, till at one point, my dad bought a house nearby and my brother and I went to live there (my brother and I hated each other because he tried to rape me a couple times when I was 12, luckily nothing happened, I told my parents just a couple years ago and found out he did that to my little sister as well).

    My mom was mad that I moved in with my dad and I did not speak to her again. A couple months later, my dad and I moved to an other city, well to a trailer-park in a forest nearby that city, where I went to school. I became a goth and just had a few friends (2 or 3). In the summer when I was 15 (2004) I smoked weed for the first time, and I liked it. My dad was that summer almost every day gone, my friends were on a holiday so I was basically alone in our trailer, sometimes without food or money. I started to do stupid things, inviting guy's over for you know what, smoking weed. Until my dad found out and brought me to my mom, for the first time I saw her in about 3 or 4 years. Her husband, she got married with that guy, kicked me and hit me, just because I was texting with my dad. Within 4 day's Child Protection brought me over to a secret house for girls where I could stay for 2 months, after that I needed some place where I could go to... that was a niece of my dad.

    Because I was in my final year of school, I was not able to change schools and had to travel 4 hours a day to go to school and go home. I became some kind of Cinderella. And it didn't last long before I left that place. I went to my grandma, started to go working at a supermarket. But because my grandma was ill (and I slept on the floor in the livingroom) I had to find some other place again! I was just 16. Finally I had some luck and I went to some place for teenagers with these kind of problems, where you learn how to take care of yourself, and how to spend money etc. I stayed there almost a year, I was able to go to collage and I had fun! Great friends, a job outside of school, grandma nearby. But then, they told me they couldn't teach me anymore since I had learned everything and I had to find my own place (I was 17 in the year 2006). I found a room in a student flat on the first floor. It all went backwards then...

    I quit school, because there was no money for it. I worked 6days a week 12 hours per day in a supermarket. There was a pub on the basement of the student flat where i went every night after work. I started drinking, smoking hasj I even did magic mushrooms and i cut myself... I created the habit by breaking a glass when I was feeling mad, and use the broken glass to cut myself. Eventually I took broken glass with me to the pub and cut myself under the table where no one could see it. I was in a very dark place and did not know how to get out.

    I did had a boyfriend when I just turned 18, he lived on the 14th floor and was a drug addict himself, but not the violent type but the sweet type who was in a dark place himself (he found out that he was bisexual during the time we had a relationship). One night I don't know how I got there because everything was blank, I found myself at the window ready to jump (I was at my boyfriends on the 14th floor) at the moment I was going to jump, he grabbed me from behind and pulled me back. That moment opened my eyes and i thought, what am I doing?

    This man saved my life, I will always be thankful for. It took me a while to recover, I think I was just fully recovered when I went to Belgium in July 2010. One of the reasons that I left the Netherlands was because I wanted to leave the country of problems, that and with the help of my loving boyfriend has helped me recover fully and i enjoy life so much now! Especially now I have a sweet little boy to take care of!

    As you can see AGJM, it can all work out well. Learn from yourself when you're climbing up that large hill. You will find the strength to go on, you will find pieces of yourself you did not aware of but makes you so strong! There is light in the tunnel, even if you don't see it yourself! And of course, it is a long climb, and you might fall down a couple times, but when you reach the top, by learning and trying to see the positive things in life, you will never fall down again and be the happiest man of the world! If you need someone to talk to, I am here, as for all other who need to talk with someone :)

    • Upvote 3
  4. I would never think of posting something like the first one now, I would be more likely to delete it and start again!

    The point of saving old stuff is in my opinion this: you could always learn from it ;)

    you made a hell of a progress! Didi you create the rock by yourself?

    • Upvote 1
  5. ISFJ - Protector

    You are:

    * slightly expressed introvert

    * slightly expressed sensing personality

    * distinctively expressed feeling personality

    * slightly expressed judging personality

    Famous ISFJs:

    St. Teresa of Avila (Teresa de Jesus)

    Queen Elizabeth II of England

    Queen Mary I ("Bloody Mary") of England

    LOL, will I turn in a bloody Mary? My real name comes from the name Mary or Maria, lol

  6. Old versus New

    uhm, I have been thinking and thinking for a couple day's if I decided to post this topic here, I did not know if someone would enjoy or like it, or even wanted to compare their images. If the mods think this thread should go, just lock and delete or so... okey, let me explain a bit of what I was thinking.

    A couple nights ago I was looking at my very old very first images of second life, made in PDN and I thought: 'Wow, that looks pretty different from what I do now!' I was truly a beginner at PDN and did not know how to do this or that (I still don't know a lot I guess) Anyway, that gave me the idea to start a new topic so everyone can post their first PDN image and their last PDN image to compare how much you have grown.

    Of course, positive feedback and compliments are aloud. But make sure there is at least 1 or 2 comments after the person who showed their images of progress.

    Shall I start first? hmmmm my very first PDN image was the one when I started taking pictures in second life and it is this one:


    I did not know about the feather, the blur, and I did this image in 3 layers, purple background, the second life avatar and the heart thingy in the corner I found on google... the edges look horrible and the only things I did with the avatar was soften portrait and cutting it out from a green background. I made it around 5th of September 2009

    As for the last image I created in PDN, you all know that was not an edited second life avatar, although I learned so much from this editing that I finally was able to paint a whole portrait myself! So here is my latest completed image of leelee Sobiskie completed on the 4th of Januari 2012:


    I can't wait to see yours!

    • Upvote 1
  7. @ Ahmed, I really thought I commented on you, or at least i commented on the same question but maybe it was someone else, sorry for that...

    What I do with my pictures is this:

    I take a picture (or find one on the net) set it to Pencil sketch OR inksketch, then line over the important lines and do the rest myself (the pencil or ink sketch are just a guide to see if I'm still on the right path)

    It would take a little while before I create an other tutorial since I have such little time and so much to do (color study, finishing my son's portrait, finishing the colored portrait, taking care of my little son, studying accountancy and trying to have some free time for cleaning my house and spending fun time with my family) as I said, so much to do so little time....

    Thanks Ahmed and Redbeard, for those sweet comments :) I really appreciate it. By the way, nice sword in your sig Redbeard!

  8. the shadowing part is in this one, the hardest thing to do and i am not done with it... what you are talking about - the forehead, i have not even started on the shadows near the flowers, why? because i think it is better to do the flowers first so I know the exact places where to put darker and lighter shadows and highlights... on my black and white paintings, the shadows are the most easiest thing to do, so yeah, this is really a trial in my case... I think I will need to do a color study before I will be very good at it though ;)

    Thanks for your comments and yes Jim, you were thinking correct, but as I said, i have not even started with that part yet :)

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