Yes, echoing the thoughts of Welshy, Pixey & Lynxster. I cried when my father died because there are no more opportunities for to answer for his behaviours. I cried because I didn't get to have the father I & my siblings deserved (my brothers got a slightly better deal but I don't hold that against them). I often see on FB how much people miss their dads. I wish I could miss mine. In saying that I cried, I cried for me, not him. I remember I did some artworks around that time. It helped me to come to grips with the fact that it will now always be what it was. I spoke to a work colleague who experienced a similar thing. We agreed that you can grieve for something you never had. I hope that helps you.
How is your hubby doing?