Followup, Rick Brewster nailed it. Exactly what I needed. I've never wanted to propose to someone just from one sentence, but there's a first time for everything.
That was quick! So close to perfect. I need both bold font and more... normal(?) text spacing. I'll fiddle around tomorrow and see if I can make this plugin work for me, but coming from 1AM zombie-me, this is a no-go. Thanks, bud.
I will make the background of this green for this example: https://i.gyazo.com/91b19d0f34dcf6c1b26ab277c4f9ebdf.png
I want the text to be "green," but I wish to change it in the future. Just using the magic wand and deleting that part removes that anti-aliasing, which I NEED. How does do?