MikeRobe

The Comedy Thread

190 posts in this topic

A photon checks into a hotel. Asked if he has any luggage.

 

"No, I'm traveling light", , , , ,

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— How often do you make chemistry jokes?

— Periodically.

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Ah. Chemistry jokes...

 

I once knew a man who drinks

But now he drinks no more

For what he thought was H2O

Was H2SO4

 

 

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity".

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zSBv20s.png

 

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Two elephants are out for a stroll when they come across a naked man! 

After a while one elephant says to the other,

"How on earth is he going to drink with that?"

 

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On 1.2.2017 at 7:28 PM, Pixey said:

Two elephants are out for a stroll when they come across a naked man! 

After a while one elephant says to the other,

"How on earth is he going to drink with that?"

 

<3 @Pixey:lol: Thank you so much.  :cake:  :coffee:

 

*Sorry! I'll be back tomorrow to give you a reputation. 

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Double meanings :)

 

double-meaning-photos23.jpg

 

double-meaning-photos18.jpg

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"I have just bought a pig." 
"Where will you keep it?" 
"In my sitting-room." 
But what about the smell?" 
"Oh, well, the pig will get used to it"  B)

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A man visits his granny in the nursing home.

When he arrives, she is asleep, so he just sits down in a chair in her room,

watches television and eats some peanuts from a bowl on the table. 
Eventually, the granny wakes up, and her nephew realizes he's absentmindedly finished all the peanuts bowl.

"I'm so sorry, granny, I've eaten all of your peanuts!" 
"That's okay, dear," granny replied.

"After I've sucked the chocolate off, I don't like them anyway."  ;)

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People are usually shocked as soon as they find out I'm not really an electrician :P

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— Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?

— Because they're afraid of flying off the handle!

:)

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One of the greatest wonders of the universe herewith unveiled for thee to witness :P

 

giphy.gif

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A farmer met his neighbour wandering around the field. "What are you looking for?" 
"A cow with one eye called Bella." 
"What's the other eye called?" ;)

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