david.atwell

***ADVANCED CRITIQUE*** - Read Rules First

216 posts in this topic

(Inspired by this thread.)

Advanced Critique

While deviantART is the best place to put your work for advanced critique, there's no reason we can't have a little bit of it here.

Post your images here for advanced critique. Some rules:

1. Of course, all forum rules apply here. Also, all pictorium rules.

2. All images posted in this thread must have been edited in Paint.NET in a major way (though not necessarily exclusively).

3. Users may post no more than two images per post.

4. Users may not post an image until the previous image has received at least three valid comments.

5. Users may not post a comment of less than fifty words. This is ADVANCED Critique.

6. Users may not become angry if others have a low opinion of their work. This is Advanced CRITIQUE.

7. Users may not be mean about their critique. No Biting rules still apply. Find a way to say "Your Image Sucks" more kindly.

All right! Go to it!

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While I like the overall style and placement of the capture, I think your edits in Paint.NET may have ruined some overall features of the creation. For instance, your medium blurring on the horizon really distracts from the overall image. As well, the way your link portions flow into the signature is rather obtrusive. I think that a more minimalistic version could have been used across the top instead. I also think that your mountain is rather bland in the render.

3/5

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I like the mountain - particularly the tonal contrast between the summit and the sunset. However, it seems sort of "wasted" when placed in the least interesting part of the canvas (nearly dead center.) Consider placing the summit in the upper-right third, with the landscape flowing downward to the left. It should meld better with the text.

Also, I find the vertical text off-putting. It would flow better with the text positioned horizontally (atop the same gradient you now have) -- leading my eye up and to the right.

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I give it a 7/10

IMO, the sunset idea is great, and its turned out really well. Great colours, and position of the sun. But, the grey mountainous in the foreground needs a texture. It would make the whole sig look much better, with some sort of a rocky texture, or even a hilly one. The perspective of the mountains is great though.

The smudging in the background is off-putting. I'd remove it. I actually like the links on the side. I think its looks pretty neat, even though its a bit obtrusive.

______________________________________

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Holy bloody potato. That planet is awesome. The aurora effect is awesome.

I love the stars as well, an awesome color choice. That lighting is

genius on the planet, and the moon.

One of the things I love most about it is the textures. Really,

how did you make that? Total 10/10,

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I really, really enjoy the work you put into the spacescape! Really well done! I enjoy the blending of colors and the spot on lighting texture for the planet. If you made it a bit larger and made is somewhat busier in the sides of the canvas, it would be much better, however. Definitely a 9/10 from me!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

3dlettering.png

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Did you read the rules at the top? :lol: The image your rating needs three reply's in order for someone to post a new one.

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:roll:

I refuse to wait in a standstill with others until that second comment is posted. I think that there needs to be a better solution to the max reply count. Perhaps the first to comment on a piece posted gets first priority for the next image posted? That would actually speed up this thread, and keep these standstills from happening.

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art is like fine wine and expensive chocolate to be savoured not rushed thru. :wink: I like to take my time and look at each piece critically in this advanced area. I refuse to be rushed in my repsonse. :D

theres always the umberalla areas ... :wink: for those too impatient to wait their turn. :lol::lol::lol:

I would like to also include in the rules something that keeps this from just becoming another c4d section of sigs. lets get some real sink your teeth into art in this section.

ciao OMA

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The spacescape rocks, for sure. If you're looking for nitpicks...

There's a star or two in front of the planet at the lower left, screwing with the scale. It messes up an otherwise terrific execution. I like that you've chosen a vertical aspect - suggestive of a panel print. Now make two companion pieces, and you'll have a terrific set for the wall.

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@Simon. Style is nice, colorization good. like the others I find it a bit blury. I would also like the focal point off towards one side. the clik PDN MSN Twitter Brushes I don't mind the positioning. Actually I didn't realize that you could clik on them.

one thing I think is you should have mentioned in the post it was a render from another program ( terrigon ? ) and it helps when we are able to see the original to determine if your paint.net manipulations added or detracted from original.

I would love to see you do this one or something similar 100% paint.net. as I'm sure it would look just as nice if not better. (and a bit bigger I like to see these things without squinting :wink: )

overall for a render in a sig I like it, (and that's saying a lot....as I don't usually like renders :wink: )

ciao thanks for share your art piece with us.

OMA

@LFC4EVER

This is extremely thought provoking. Took me a few mins to finally realize what it was portraying. it has an artsy abstraction to it.

I am always attracted to very textural pieces and this one is spot on. . The back lights are extremely well done, and in my mind the clouds of gasses are the main eye candy. Something is a bit off on that small nob of a planet in the foreground. Perhaps its the scale but it needs to be be made look as if it is further away from the larger planet somehow.

there is a round circle thingy down bottom leftt that is distracting and pulls my eyes out of the picture and also one star just smack dab bottom centre of main planet.

As another person mentioned this definetly belongs in a series.

great job.

ciao OMA

@Mikey!

excellent. Good clean lettering, lovely font, crisp , glossy and no stray pixels . What more can I say on par with the best and I'm having a hard time coming up with much more to say. Its perfect the way it is.

thanks for showing us your artwork.

ciao OMA

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6aaqje5w4bdofhcw5o4.png

You were successful in the colors, textures of the planets, stars and the nebula, But I will assume that the big planet and the other 3 planets are getting their light from same source, which is the core of the nebula, if this is correct then there is some problem in the lighting because the source of the light is away very far and almost lies behind the big planet so the amount of light showing on it(on the big planet) is too much , actually we can see just a thin bright line around the planet little bit brighter on the left edge, and the moon should appear totally black(in eclipse situation), this is the reason that make us feel that the nebula is very close to the planet or say almost touching it because the lighting confuses our visions sense , but if you meant another source of light then I am completely wrong. And as atypicalcarl mentioned I notice that also not just the lower left planet but also the upper right planet has same problem.Sorry if I was so detailed but I am using my rights from the title of this thread :). But hey I forgot to tell you that the whole piece is amazing and one of my favorites in this forum.

I hope its clear now with my bad English :oops:

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Thanks everyone for the critique. It'll help me improve and my next one will be better. I know why the small planets have stars showing through though (i got lazy and used screen :P )

@Mike:

That text piece is awesome. Really it is. 8.5/10

The gloss on the text seems a bit weird. i can tell the shrink of the glare was deliberate (or was it? ) but it just looks a bit odd imo. Maybe if you didn't have the glare extend to the 3D part of the text. You could just mask it off with a simple alpha mask. The floor is great, but maybe add some sort of texture, like a engraved grid or something, it might just look better.

Looks awesome though. Really glow-y. :D

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Mike Ryan:

The text looks awesome - I give it a 9/10. Simple but subtle. It reminds me of ice, with the lighter core visible inside. The gloss seems almost to "float" above the text a little bit in a few places, though - was that intentional? It's a little distracting, IMHO. I also think the background needs a little more spice - seems to me that some sort of "surface" for the text to rest on would add to the general effect of the picture.

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Thanks PT and LFC! I am working on the gloss part right now on the text while also trying to retain a bit more of the shape. Once I have the lettering down I will work on a good, frosted surface for the text to sit upon. Here is another version that I think the glares might be a bit more subtle and better placed upon:

mikeryan_iceytext.png

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I agree with pyrotechniques, Mike: A surface texture on the backdrop would work wonders for the 3D effect and allow for an interesting variation in the light source, adding visual richness. Aside from that, I think the font is well-executed and and the colors are interesting. Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty.

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Can we put our notes directly on a copy of the Image and re post it here, like using arrows or shapes (like rectangular and circles) to show the part or the area that we are commenting about? Because it is hard some times to explain by words, but of course without messing the image, thanks.

Like this simple:

notation.jpg

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Sure, not a problem.

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http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c112/jesmic1829/PDN/reflection-2.jpg

A combination of 2 studio shots from my wedding portfolio..

ex.png

Very Nice, I like the use of Bars and I really like where the water and the woman meet. The people look splendid as well! :wink:

If that was my wedding picture I would be very happy 4/5, I dont know what else you could do to it but its very good!

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Overall I really like the composition, beautiful couple, 8/10.

There is horrizontal banding in the bride's face and the left hand side of the picture. I find this distracting, not sure what your intention was there. Other point, the chin and tip of the bride's nose have been 'over exposed'. This has killed the contrast in this area and drawn attention away from the eyes. Easy to do if you are not careful when adjusting levels and curves.

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Thanks Benji2, the part where the flowers meets the water line was edited as it was a bunch of roses that when cut into half and joins the water line.. it became a :evil: shape.. so some cut and paste was done to portray into a heart shape. It was a combi of the 2 shots below..

IMG_9133.jpgIMG_9393.jpg

Thanks pophiri for the comments.. i guess i did not manage the part of the forest on the other shore when combining the 2 fotos together.. and i think the fault lies on the blending of the layers . which results in it looking odd having a black band under the chin.. this piece was done on my 4th day on Paint.net.. maybe i'll try to redo this whole piece again.. soon.. :)

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O I thought the lines were a use of Render> Gradient Bars xD

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